Clearly Mysterious

Feeling both inspired and melancholy on this grey Monday.  Something about rainy weather always makes me feel the most inpsired…even if it is tinged with sadness, too. Not too sure why that is.

Not feeling like waxing poetically about the more meaningful things in life….which means it is picture time.

I went to the river this weekend to see my amazing step-mom and dad.  I had a lovely time with them…It was truly refreshing hanging out with them.  I saw my grandfather as well which was very cool because I haven’t gotten the chance to spend a lot of time with him during my life.  I know it is a bit of a cliche, but it is very, very true–relatoinships are the most important thing in life.  Maintaining them, working on them, allowing them to change me–that is crucial, in my opinion.

 The river, as gorgeous as she is, is getting dangerously high. If we have any more serious rains, my dad and step-mom will have to evaculate.  I feel bad for them because they already have so much on their plate!!  And there’s no chance they can stay with me in my tiny cardbox apartment, that’s for sure.

No trip to the river would be complete without photos of the cute little hyper terror, Cash.  What he lacks in brains, he makes up for in beauty!! What a nut he is!!

My uncle from Seattle and my other Unlce from Michigan and my grandmother are all coming to town tonight.  So I am going to squeeze out some more time in between my classes and make another trip to see them all this week.  I am REALLY looking forward to it.  It is a rare chance to be around all my family at once. And I missed so much time getting to know them as a child, that is a special treat.  I will have to take lots of pics… 

Being around such kind souls has made me feel espeically inspired, as

I mentioned before.  I was able to FINALLY make one necklace in betweem class today.  I really want to pump out some more.  I’ve gotten a lot of cool beads lately that I’ve been meaning to use!  Here is the necklace I made today….hope more are to follow!!

I used a pewter heart from Green Girl Studios (check them out!!). On the back of the heart are the words, “Love Gives Wings”…so cool!!

Now it is time to listen to some Janis Joplin (been in a REAL bluesy kick lately) and read some theory of social thought for school….fun, fun.

xoxo

I am boring myself!!!

I am ready for a great adventure full of lots of good things….

But, in the mean time, I have to be responsible, I GUESS.

I dropped a class this semester so that I am only taking: Sociological thought, Music & Society, and Intro into Family, Youth, Community Sciences.  Theory requires a lot of work….though it is a very interesting class.  Intro into FYCS requires 20 hours of volunteer work this semester.  I am really trying to make it happen so that I can volunteer with the blind and read for them….that would be cool…especially if I could work for blind children.  I’m still working with David and at the bead store, too.  Plus, I’ve been at the hospital almost everyday for the past 15 days! Needless to say, I am scattered, shattered, and all scrambled up….

Yesterday though, after my class, I decided to go for a run.  The weather has been gorgeous lately and I am really trying to get back on track with my running.  I miss it!! So I went for a jog yesterday, and as a last minute decision, decided to extend my run to the hospital.  I was going to drop by and visit my dad.  As soon as I got to the entrance, who do I see about to get into their car but my dad and stepmom!  Weird timing…  So anyway, my dad is finally out of the hospital!  Hospitals are gross.  Impersonal, cold, sterile. I am glad he is out of there…. Though it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a really hard road ahead of us.  We are all just taking it a day at a time and thankful to have each other.

It’s amazing how blessings are still able to come out of tragedies. I’ve got such a cool family and support system.  My friends have been incredible, too.

That’s my current life in a nutshell.  Time for me to head to my music and society class, then working at the bead store tonight.  I have so many ideas for jewelry pieces I want to make!!! Wish I had to time to create!!

On my walk to the hospital today after class, I caught this picture with my cell phone.  It was this beautiful little stream, surrounded by green and moss trees.  It struck me because it reminded me that even in sadness, beauty is ever presence. I saw my dad at the hospital and he looked a lot better than he did Saturday, that’s for sure.  He was talkative and cracking jokes with the nurse. We talked for a long time, and that gave me a lot of hope.  The one good thing about tragedy is that people often bond together.  Relationships really are the most important things in life.  What good is it to be filthy rich yet desperately alone?  I’d rather be rich in love than resources.

I feel a lot of complex things, regarding what’s happening right now.  I didn’t see my dad for 15 years, until I was 18.  Right after I met him again, he had his second bout of cancer.  This will be his third.  While I was talking to him today, we started discussing all of the near-death experiences he’s had…cancer three times, car accidents, motorcycle accidents, almost drowned…oh! And he’s gotten struck by lightening TWICE!  Obviously someone is keeping him around for a purpose!!!  I am really grateful I’ve had the opportunity to get to know him better over these past seven years.  He’s got a really good heart and has taught me so much….even if half of that has been what NOT to do!  I am staying positive.  My whole family is staying positive.  We all realize that we need each other.

Celebrate life!

I rolled back into town around 6:00 last night after having a very fun-filled, meaningful and wonderful trip to Georgia. I saw so many people I loved. I had a lot of good conversations and laughs. I can’t believe all I fit into such a short amount of time!  What a whirlwind! But, that is always the case whenever I take a trip back home.  I appreciate my easy, earthy life I have here in Gainesville, but once I graduate from UF, I am really tempted to move to Atlanta.  Being in that city–especially at night–gives me such a high.  I miss that stimulation.  Plus, I have a shit ton of people I love there!!  I will go with the flow of life and see what happens and not deny myself if a better opportunity comes up between now and next December, but Atlanta is definitely an option for me!

There are so many stories to share, but I just feel like making this entry short and posting some pics. 

Also, I got some bad news regarding my dad and his health.  Please keep him in your prayers!!

I start my first day of class tomorrow and–boy!!–I am going to have fun walking to class in the freezing cold! (I know…things could be worse…I could be in Michigan right now!!!)

Peace, Love, & Blessings

This lovely beaded butterfly barrette, I received as a gift for my Birthday from one of my dear friends! It makes me smile (: I love butterflies and the new life, hope, and better tomorrows that they promise….

I am about to go out on the town with my girl Rachele…Hopefully we can find some trouble to stir up because the town is a little dead while all the students are away. 

Tomorrow Annie and I are going to shop, in search for after x-mas specials, then I am working for five hours, then I am headed to Hotlanna!!!  I won’t get into town until around 1:30 am, but luckily my girl Summer is a night owl and so generously doesn’t mind.

I have got to pack as much fun as I can into the next few days, because school starts Jan. 5th and I must put my nose back to the grind, hard-core!!! Two semesters left, including this one! YEAH!!!

Life is good; all is well.

(A more thought-provoking entry soon, I hope…. )

Friday night, Holly and her mom threw a birthday party for me at their picturesque house in the woods.  They used tea lights to light the way, bought me a My Little Pony cake (hehe), lit a bon fire; it was lovely!  I am so grateful to know so many kind-hearted people…. But, omg! Tomorrow is my official birthday and I turn 26.  Over half-way to thirty, and I’ve got a lot more to accomplish. 

Like?

• Finishing my undergrad
• Getting my masters
• Doing a lot more traveling! I am really itching to go back overseas….hard-core
• Hiking
• Going on many, many adventures
• Getting in really good shape so that I can run a half-marathon
• Finding my soul-mate (as cheesy as it sounds–yes. I am a hopeless romantic)
• ???????????????

Mainly, I am just trying to enjoy each day that is given to me and appreciate the people who are around me….

Anyway, depsite being the scrouge that I am, I’ve got Christmas cards to send. xoxo.

Wow… a what a whirlwind the last week has been!  Final after final, 15 paged paper after 15 paged paper! I am exhausted! But my Christmas break will provide no rest.  I shall be slinging lots of beads, going to lots of parties, driving home to Atlanta and Athens, getting back on track with my running, figuring out my schedule for next semester, dancing, spending time with friends, organizing, reading, making jewelry, and working!!! 

Last night, I had dinner with my co-workers–who, in all actuality–are more like my family!  My sistahs and two mamas! They are all such amazing, kind, talented, interesting, unique people.  I feel lucky to have them in my life! We had dinner at Chopstix and exchanged presents.  Robyn got me the movie Pride and Prejudice, which I have never seen and will be perfect for me to watch because Holly and I are both going to try to read the book! (That is after I finish All About Love and The Outliers.  Oh….ANNND Bone Black. Yes! I am trying to read 3 books at once!! Such a bad habbit. )

After dinner, I met with a classmates who is also becoming a really good friend of mine.  We are in the same sociological methods class and having to write our dreaded proposals together has resulted in a friendship.  She and I went to the Atlantic for “soul night”.  We got there too early and the place was dead.  So we killed some time by playing fuseball…which I am soooo masterful at that it caused me to question why I am in school right now when this is an obvious skill of mine. Then, around 11, my other friend from another class showed up with a bunch of her friends.  The DJ played some motown and we all danced around like drunken fools.  It was great!!

Now I’ve got one more final and a lot of Christmas cards to write and a possible birthday party to plan for.  I have no idea how I am going to get everything done! It is almost 2 am now and I have to work tomorrow, so I’d better sleep.  Yay for this semester almost being over!!

I have a friend who always leaves me the most thoughtful comments to my blogs.  Thoughtfulness really makes me smile!  It is not a natural human characteristic, but one that takes much work!! I am always working on it myself.

He writes, “Some say that creativity is looking at the completely familiar with a new set of eyes, so finding interest in the uninteresting infinitely is the epitome of being creative. You don’t seem to have a problem with that–nice work. Looks like you had some fun; it’s good to slow down and do something meditative and introspective at times. It is interesting that you chose mostly warm organic forms as you seem to be a free-spirited, people-oriented (loving) person–the project (and your writing) reflect that. Wrinkles are unavoidable, in collage and in life.  No life is free of a few wrinkles.

“A comment about broken heart and broken dreams… sometimes we need to take all of those pieces and rearrange them into something new like pieces of glass placed in new settings to add  color in an empty window. The bond is stronger than the original and far more interesting (beautiful). The other option is to leave the pieces and live with an empty void that is never satisfied, or sweeping the pieces up and tossing them away which would be like throwing out part of our heart, part of who we were and still are, again leaving a void. The best option is to throw all of the pieces into a smelting fire and have them melt and fuse together once again and start once again with clarity and purity…“

Loved that!  Now I must be good and focus on school! xoxo

Lots going on in my infinitely interestingly uninteresting world. (Huh???)

Classes are coming near an end.  In my Interpersonal Communications class, we had to each present a collage to the class which represented the way we see ourselves and the way others see us.  This was a bit of a challenging project for me at first.  I feel like I have been in a lot of different situations thus far in my life and I tend to act differently in each of the situations.  People have described me in all kinds of extreme ways from skittish to bold, extroverted to introverted, mean to nice. It all just depends on where I am and how I am feeling.

But anyway, to portray this dynamic aspect to my personality , instead of just throwing some pictures on a poster board, I decided to really play with the idea.  I saw an old box I had left over in my closet from my recent move.  I grabbed it down, pulled out a stack of magazines, turned on my music and let myself play a bit.  I picked out pictures in the magazine that I connected with some way, cut them out, and tried to divide them into certain themes.  I then glued the pictures on the various sides of the box, making five sides which represented myself.  This is what each side represented:

• My light-hearted, playful side
• My natural, down-to-earth side
• My cryptic, mysterious side
• My introverted, reflective side
• My restless, courageous, adventurous side

Oh. And inside of the box, I cut out a couple thing that I am trying to work on…like expressing myself more and in better ways, and focusing on the present moment, being more optimistic about the future, etc.

The pictures got kind of wrinkled, but you get the idea.  It ended up being a fun project…BUT, I had to actually stand up and present the stupid thing in front of my entire class.  Ughhhh… It was so my worst nightmare.  It wasn’t really the fear of public speaking thing that got me, it was having to stand in front of 50 kids and talk about MYSELF.  So difficult to talk about something personal for me. But, I did it. Quickly and painfully!

Everyone clapped for me a few times, appreciating that I “went outside the box” and did something different for the collage. Annnd, my professor told everyone that I am a good writer which made me feel special.

I, ironically, am having to give some sort of presentation in every single one of my classes this week.  The other classes are more impersonal, so the pressure isn’t as great for me.

My cord on my lap top is getting worse, causing me to rush while typing this up…. But, for a finality for this entry, here are 10 ways to improve your happiness, if you care to do so. (Copied this from my positive psyche notes)

1. Be positive (relates to present-mindedness)
2. Be optimistic (relates to future-mindedness)
3. Set reachable goals
4. If you don’t have meaning, find some
5. Be a good relationship person (create positive interactions with others, don’t place YOUR expectations on others, etc .)
6. Get in relationships with good relationship people (people who are non-neurotic, non-narcissistic)
7. Be gracious (so easy to do!)
8. Help other people
9. Forgive people
10. Focus on your strengths and put yourself in situations which accentuate them.

There ya go, Folks. There is the secret to a happy life! Now, I must go before my battery dies…. Peace.